5 Love Languages/ Please don't burst my bubble

For book club in relief society this month, we read "The Five Love Languages". I was reluctant to read it, partially because I generally don't read non-fiction (especially "self-help" books), and partially because I feel like Kenny and I are already good at communicating our love to each other. But I read it, and I'm glad I did. The whole book is about how different people feel love in different ways, and what makes you feel loved may not be what makes others feel loved.
We identified that Kenny's "love language" is Quality Time. He is happiest when spending time with his family. Which is great, because Quality Time is high on my list too. But my real thing, I think, is Words of Affirmation: I need to be told frequently that I'm doing well, I need vocal encouragement. I kind of break without it. Fortunately, I've gotten good at feeding lines to Kenny so he knows what I need to hear- it's not that I'm having him tell me lies, but they are things he thinks go without saying (cause he speaks a different Love Language, see?). We both also have Physical Touch high on the list, in a perfectly innocent way: we express/feel love by holding hands, cuddling, and generally go out of our way to be physically near each other. Next on our list was Acts of Service, though while we both think they are nice, neither of us really NEED that to feel loved. The last one makes us laugh: Receiving Gifts. I don't think I know anyone less gift-y than us. If Kenny bought me a diamond bracelet I'd be furious with him. That's just not me.

I'd highly recommend the book to anyone, whether or not you think you need it, as it applies to all relationships, not just marriages.

Anyways, as I read the book, I realized more and more just how lucky I am. I am so head-over-heels in love with my husband. I spend a few minutes each day contemplating how much I adore him. We probably say "I Love You" at least a couple dozen times a day. We probably disgust the people around us, and I'm probably disgusting everyone reading this post.
As the relief society group read the book and discussed it, plenty of opportunity to vent about husbands came up. Honestly, I understand women need to vent, and no husband is perfect (not even Kenny- I'd do anything to improve his hearing and his memory) but I feel so out of place in those discussions. As women go "oh I HATE how my husband never takes out the garbage" I think: I probably shouldn't mention that Kenny is awesome at taking care of the garbage. And he cooks more than half our meals, he does most dishes. He buys me flowers randomly. He never complains about helping with cleaning. If he asks me to clean something, it's usually because he knows I'm happier when I contribute. If I ask him a trick question like "if I HAD to have plastic surgery, where would you want me to have it" he thinks for a moment then answers "on your tummy, but not because I think it needs it, but because I know that for some reason that's something that bothers you about yourself".

Worse yet, I am SOOO SICK of hearing that the only reason we have it so good right now is we're newly weds (which, technically, we shouldn't be considered anymore, since we have a kid, right? we're going on 2.5 years now):
"Oh, he does the dishes and cooking now, but just you wait a few years..."
"He may buy you roses now, but wait til you have a few more kids, he'll never remember..."
"You think he's perfect now, just wait til about year 7, that's when he'll really start driving you nuts..."
"You may think you can't live without him, but after 20 years or so you'll be grateful when he goes out of town for a few days to yourself..."

ARGH! And this is all from women with "good" marriages, who are happy and no doubt do love their husbands very much. But I have no reason to believe that things are not going to keep getting better or that time alone is going to make us not need each other as much. I think of where we were a year ago, and we've grown so much. I don't feel like it's twitterpation anymore, not that honeymoon feeling. We've already gone through a few very rough patches in our marriage and come out stronger for it.
Not that I don't think we'll have trials: especially since we both have different parenting styles and stuff, but I don't think we're going to get worse at communicating over the years. I don't want to be happy when he's out of town. I like to think that I'll still adore him and need him when we're 80. Is that too much to ask?

The biggest redeeming thing for me is one marriage in particular that I get to be witness to: that of my brother Kevin and his wife Candace. They've been married.... I'm going to guess 9 years now, they have 4 children now, and I don't think I've ever seen a couple maintain the googley eyes as long as they have. I've never seen them raise their voices, and I doubt they ever do. It's fairly easy catching Kevin staring at his wife, and I remember a few pregnancies ago overhearing Kevin mumble to himself "I have the most beautiful pregnant wife in the world" (it's true, Candace is beautiful, even barely after giving birth). Yeah, they're pretty cheesy. But it's so sweet, and they give me hope. It is possible to sustain that kind of love.
I'm not saying I think other marriages that change are inferior at all, or that I'm better off. I just don't like people projecting their experiences onto me.
So yeah. Next time some mooney-eyed newlywed gushes about her husband, let her gush. Not all marriages change the same way through the years.

Whew, that's long. Sorry. I've been thinking about it a lot lately.