Grateful

The last few days have been some of the longest of my life. Kenny and I have been fighting off either the flu or food poisoning... without going into graphic details, I'll just say we've been sick. Very sick. Combine that with my inability to stay conscious while sick, and it's been an interesting few days (no passing out, fortunately, but only because I spent yesterday morning crawling rather than walking to and from the bathroom, nursery, and bed).
I'm feeling much much better today, just a little weak and empty. Kenny is still actively fighting whatever it is, poor guy. Oddly, this has really put a lot of things into perspective this thanksgiving. Things to be grateful for:

• A wonderful, smiley, and agreeable baby who has needed little to no attention for 2 days, even though he is teething. Honestly, I don't know how I would have gotten through the day if he had been like he was the day before.
• A good ward who helps us out and comes and gives a blessing at a moment's notice.
• The fact that we generally have wonderful health (this is the first time I've thrown up from a stomach bug since 1998)
  
• A kind sister-in-law who forgives us for canceling our thanksgiving plans with her at the last minute.
• With the help of the bug, I'm now the thinnest I've been in probably 2 years- down to 144, just below what I weighed at the end of my first trimester of pregnancy (I lost a lot of weight the 1st tri)
  
• The fact I was feeling well enough last night to finish up the last of the 6 pies I made for church, with one left over for us.
• The fact that neither of us is really bummed about missing out on Turkey. We're actually not big turkey fans.
• The fact my milk supply hasn't disappeared- Daniel still seems to be getting enough.
• A wonderful warm house (even if it is a disaster area at the moment) with a big comfy bath tub.
  

We have a wonderful memory to build this thanksgiving off of: 6 years ago (six!), Kenny and I were the only people left in our dorms over thanksgiving break at BYU- everyone else had gone home. We weren't dating or anything- while Kenny was interested, I was too busy pursuing relationships in all the wrong places. But I invited him over to my dorm for a thanksgiving "feast": turkey sandwiches, potato chips, and martinelli's sparkling cider (the cider is the most important part of thanksgiving for me). We then watched Maverick and played frisbee. It was our second "date" (our first date was to see a jazz band on campus, but apparently I talked about other guys the whole time... apparently that's a turn-off:)).
I think we both could agree that it's one of our best thanksgivings ever. If I had had ANY idea back then how Kenny and I would eventually marry and make a beautiful family together... it's just crazy to think about. How on earth could I have not known that he would be the love of my life? It boggles my mind. So that's my final thing I'm grateful for: my wonderful husband. 6 years later, we're eating turkey sandwiches (well, we will, once kenny's tummy calms down), potato chips and martinelli's, and I couldn't be happier with how things ended up (stomach bugs aside).

Here's a picture from almost exactly 3 years ago, just before kenny went home to CA for thanksgiving. We had been dating for all of 3 weeks and were falling madly in love:

Woohoo, new toy!

As a reward for working so much longer than we planned (more like "something to look forward to so I don't go insane), we've planned on getting me a new camera for a long time. The one I've been using is the one Kenny got for his mission in 2003- it was a dandy camera in it's time, but, well, it just isn't cutting it anymore.
This was taken with old camera, which had serious white balance issues:

And new camera (automatic settings):


We got a panasonic lumix LX3- it's a compact, can't change out lenses (though you can add filters and zoom lenses), it actually fits in my purse or Kenny's pocket... but it has a lot of really fancy options- really anything a beginning photographer could want. It was very highly reviewed everywhere online and is the perfect amount of camera for me. And it was just under the 400 dollar limit I had.

So now I'm trying my hand at photography. I've taken a billion pictures since the camera came on Friday- I'm literally bouncing around the house, quite giddy aabout it. Some favorites from the weekend:





It also records video, so when Daniel finally performs his crawl for me I can show it to the rest of the world.

I know what to get him for christmas!

So I was trying to nurse Daniel but he kept contorting and grabbing for the bag of Malt-o-meal Mini Spooners (read: Frosted Shredded Wheat), so I gave up and set him down, all frustrated. But on the floor, he was still reaching for the bag. Like, I was worried he would hurt himself trying to get to it up on my desk. So I sealed it up and handed it to him.

10 minutes later...


Ten more minutes...

Another ten minutes...



Honestly, it's like the best, most fascinating toy ever. He's been playing with it for 40 minutes now, no breaks, and still enjoying himself.
Enough so I couldn't get him to smile for the camera until he'd VERY THOROUGHLY investigated every inch of the bag- he refused to be distracted until just now:


Screw the gloworm, blocks, bouncy chair... I'm getting my son some malt-o-meal for christmas!

The big news

So, it's official: I'll be done working by the end of the year! When I originally got pregnant, the goal was to be done working shortly after the baby came. Then we decided to buy a house and move to Texas, so those plans got drawn out. Then it turns out Texas has AWFUL health benefits for teachers, so my dream of being a stay-at-home-mom got pushed back a little further. It didn't seem like we'd ever make it. I wasn't lying when I told folks at Omniture that as far as I knew, I was working indefinitely. It's been really hard. Like, soul-suckingly hard.
But we've scrimped and saved and proven we can live on a school teacher's salary. We have 4 months living expenses in savings. I've found a third party for health insurance (and we'll be paying a third of what we'd pay Kenny's school district- yay for ehealthinsurance.com!). I have every conceivable expense budgeted between now and December 2009, plus a huge buffer for unforeseen expenses, without dipping into savings.

So I let my boss know today that despite all of their flexibility and kindness, it's time for me to "just" be a mommy. It was hard, I got a little emotional, I really don't want to seem ungrateful for all he's done. I figured he must have known on some level this day would come- it just came sooner for us than I expected. He was more surprised than I thought he would be.
I know I shouldn't feel guilty for wanting to take care of my family, but Omniture has been a wonderful place to work and I do feel indebted to them for all of their flexibility- especially since in August they practically created a position specifically for me so that I could still use all my omni-knowledge and not have to worry about Daniel crying into client phone calls any. But still, 40 hours is 40 hours, and there just isn't enough time in the day for that AND mommying.

While I understand I've been VERY blessed that Omniture let me work remotely from Texas, then work from bed while on bedrest, then work with a little baby... there is a reason people don't bring babies to work. Working 40 hours a week while keeping a 2-7 month old happy and staying sane isn't easy. Kenny has been his wonderful helpful self with no complaints, doing the dishes and most of the cooking and excusing my messy desk and generally unshowered (and often un-fully-clothed) state, but the whole mess has given me a nervous twitch. I WANT to cook, to clean, to have time to do the laundry. I WANT nothing more than for Kenny to come home to a warm dinner and a clean home (or at least a cleaner home). Then he'll have time to focus on grading and lesson plans and I'll have time to be productive around the house and maybe even have hobbies again someday. I have two chapters of a novel that have been sitting on my computer since 2005, and a dozen more chapters in my head, plus my poor harp sits lonely and ignored, I haven't done any gardening at our home yet... so many things I want to do. I know there's no way I'll get to all of those things because the thing at the top of my list is being with Daniel:
Never again having to listen to him scream in the other room for over an hour because I'm on a call with a client and can't help him. Never having to set him on the floor and essentially ignore him for 6 hours because I'm troubleshooting javascript for someone. Never again typing an important email, while nursing, while sitting on a conference call, while IMing, all at the same time...

I have nothing negative to say about Omniture. Anyone looking for a job in Orem, UT who knows anything about web analytics or behavioral targeting, I can give you the hookups:). It's a fun place to work and the people are some of the nicest and smartest I've ever met. Especially after the horror that was my job at Heritage Web Solutions, it was SO nice to work for a company with products I am sincerely proud of. I've learned so much there (I wonder how long it will be before I stop interrupting the plot of my dreams because I have to figure out how to track my progress through the dream with javascript- seriously, it happens like once a week).

So, come December 31st, I am a full-time stay-at-home mom. Honestly, I feel like the biggest burden has been lifted from my shoulders. We are so blessed!

Here's Daniel in a too-large-but-still-cute coat expressing his joy:

From November 2008

Bound to make you smile

Whether you hate or love our new president-elect, this might put a smile on your face (you gotta watch at least a little past the first 25 seconds or so, that's when it gets good. Don't worry, it's not political at all, just funny):


You've been Barack-rolled:)

And if that failed to make you smile, here's Daniel and the return of the giggles!:

Things I've done

I've seen this on a few blogs and decided to steal it, as well. Here is a list of things to do in your lifetime (bolded are the ones I've done):
1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee

Random Sad Story, we can help

So Margie had posted about a friend's baby on her blog, and I feel I need to do the same to spread the word about poor sweet baby Mia. From Mia's blog:
Baby Mia was born with a severe congenital heart defect and is in need of a new heart. The McDonalds have a job and insurance but after heart operations, and then a heart transplant, additional operations plus all the doctors and medicine and hospital time that this will require... it would financially destroy the best of us.
These are the kind of people that would never ask for help like this. That is why we are stepping in to ask on their behalf. This is what we propose: Donate a few dollars. Donate ONE dollar. It doesn't seem like much, but if you give one and then forward this on to others who donate one; well, one turns into a miracle. If you can afford to give more, please give what you can. Then, send this link to everyone you know and encourage them to make a donation and send it on to people they know. Ask yourself, "What is a heart worth, what is a life worth?"

Also, there is a quilt giveaway- you get an entry for spreading the word and more entries if you donate money. I'm not a spammy type, you won't ever find an email from me in your inbox asking you to "pass along", but this story touched me and I can't imagine what the family is going through. So please take a moment to consider helping this family out.

I... got tagged

Lori tagged me, so here goes:

I am - the luckiest girl in the world. Honestly, things just go well for me whether or not I merit it. I have no doubt I have one powerful guardian angel.

I want - to make the people around me happy, comfortable and loved.

I have - spent WAY too much time on the internet the last few weeks

I wish - there were more hours in the day

I dislike - Loud sounds and crowded hallways

I fear - being an annoyance to those around me

I hear - blessed silence. Daniel is sleeping, Lucy is sleeping, and the pesky chimney birds are quiet for once.

I search - for new ways to make Daniel smile every day

I wonder - how to make Kenny's students let him be the great teacher that he is. How do you teach someone who doesn't want to learn?

I always - go to bed before 10 pm these days. How lame are we?

I usually - make the bed just after I brush my teeth. That way, if the bed's not made, I know I haven't brushed my teeth either.

I am not - a self-confident person.

I dance - lamely. 'nough said.

I sing - all the time. "Baby Daniel, you're the one... you make ___ time so much fun!"

I never - go a day without saying and/or hearing "I love you" at least 20 times.

I rarely - do the dishes anymore. I just can't handle the floaties in the sink.

I cry - more often than I should but less than I used to.

I am not always - the most motivated person.;)

I lose - a year off my life for each month I continue working and being a mommy

I'm confused - about who to want as the next president. I really don't like either of them (though I did vote)

I need - more than 3 showers a week!

I should - do about 4 loads of laundry today and clean all the bathrooms

I dream - of writing a novel in the next year or so.

I love - my husband more than anything in the world.


K, so I'm now tagging Margie and Trina (seems like Lori already tagged everyone in my family). Just take the same prompts and fill-in-the-blank.

And because all posts need a picture- here's Daniel in a cute outfit from my mom:

From November 2008

Halloween!

Here's my sweet little man as a penguin:

From October 08

From October 08

I had bought black tights to cover the legs, but didn't have the heart to make him wear them. Trunk-or-treating at church was a lot of fun.
Before going trunk-or-treating, Kenny held a mariokart tournament at school with his students. I got to participate, it was a lot of fun. Kenny of course won (how embarrassing would it be to lose to your math teacher?)

I also created a new siggy for my pregnancy.org board:

More cute bath pictures here.