The big news

So, it's official: I'll be done working by the end of the year! When I originally got pregnant, the goal was to be done working shortly after the baby came. Then we decided to buy a house and move to Texas, so those plans got drawn out. Then it turns out Texas has AWFUL health benefits for teachers, so my dream of being a stay-at-home-mom got pushed back a little further. It didn't seem like we'd ever make it. I wasn't lying when I told folks at Omniture that as far as I knew, I was working indefinitely. It's been really hard. Like, soul-suckingly hard.
But we've scrimped and saved and proven we can live on a school teacher's salary. We have 4 months living expenses in savings. I've found a third party for health insurance (and we'll be paying a third of what we'd pay Kenny's school district- yay for ehealthinsurance.com!). I have every conceivable expense budgeted between now and December 2009, plus a huge buffer for unforeseen expenses, without dipping into savings.

So I let my boss know today that despite all of their flexibility and kindness, it's time for me to "just" be a mommy. It was hard, I got a little emotional, I really don't want to seem ungrateful for all he's done. I figured he must have known on some level this day would come- it just came sooner for us than I expected. He was more surprised than I thought he would be.
I know I shouldn't feel guilty for wanting to take care of my family, but Omniture has been a wonderful place to work and I do feel indebted to them for all of their flexibility- especially since in August they practically created a position specifically for me so that I could still use all my omni-knowledge and not have to worry about Daniel crying into client phone calls any. But still, 40 hours is 40 hours, and there just isn't enough time in the day for that AND mommying.

While I understand I've been VERY blessed that Omniture let me work remotely from Texas, then work from bed while on bedrest, then work with a little baby... there is a reason people don't bring babies to work. Working 40 hours a week while keeping a 2-7 month old happy and staying sane isn't easy. Kenny has been his wonderful helpful self with no complaints, doing the dishes and most of the cooking and excusing my messy desk and generally unshowered (and often un-fully-clothed) state, but the whole mess has given me a nervous twitch. I WANT to cook, to clean, to have time to do the laundry. I WANT nothing more than for Kenny to come home to a warm dinner and a clean home (or at least a cleaner home). Then he'll have time to focus on grading and lesson plans and I'll have time to be productive around the house and maybe even have hobbies again someday. I have two chapters of a novel that have been sitting on my computer since 2005, and a dozen more chapters in my head, plus my poor harp sits lonely and ignored, I haven't done any gardening at our home yet... so many things I want to do. I know there's no way I'll get to all of those things because the thing at the top of my list is being with Daniel:
Never again having to listen to him scream in the other room for over an hour because I'm on a call with a client and can't help him. Never having to set him on the floor and essentially ignore him for 6 hours because I'm troubleshooting javascript for someone. Never again typing an important email, while nursing, while sitting on a conference call, while IMing, all at the same time...

I have nothing negative to say about Omniture. Anyone looking for a job in Orem, UT who knows anything about web analytics or behavioral targeting, I can give you the hookups:). It's a fun place to work and the people are some of the nicest and smartest I've ever met. Especially after the horror that was my job at Heritage Web Solutions, it was SO nice to work for a company with products I am sincerely proud of. I've learned so much there (I wonder how long it will be before I stop interrupting the plot of my dreams because I have to figure out how to track my progress through the dream with javascript- seriously, it happens like once a week).

So, come December 31st, I am a full-time stay-at-home mom. Honestly, I feel like the biggest burden has been lifted from my shoulders. We are so blessed!

Here's Daniel in a too-large-but-still-cute coat expressing his joy:

From November 2008